MAN-LAWS

CHUCK NORRIS, MEN AND MAN-LAWS
by Trey Morgan

A few of us guys were visiting about man-laws after church recently and
the importance of teaching them to our sons. For those women who might not
know, man-law is an unwritten code which men live by. I'm not a man-law
expert, but I do think I know a man-law when I see one. For example here are
a few man-laws that real-men live by that might not make sense to women, but
totally make sense to us .

* Man-law says that on a road trip the most manly-man is the one with the
strongest bladder.

* Man-law says that no man shall EVER wear an article of women's clothing
unless they are the loser of a bet.

* Man-law states that grilling, no matter the weather, is always the first
choice of cooking.

* Man-law clearly states that under NO circumstance do two men EVER share an
umbrella.

* Man-law says that men can watch chick-flicks on occasion, BUT they are
never to be watched without the presence of a girlfriend or wife. And they
should NEVER be seen crying.

* Man-law has many rules of the public restrooms. First and foremost, men
must follow the "buffer-zone" rule. That means where there are more than two
urinals, there must always be one urinal of separation between you and the
next man. You NEVER sidle-up to another man when there's an empty urinal
down the line. This law is null-and-void when there are dividers between the
urinals.

* Another public restroom man-law is if you are first in the bathroom and
there are only three urinals, you must not take the middle urinal because it
would be impossible to follow the "buffer zone" rule if another man enters
the bathroom. If you happen to encounter this simply clear your throat and
say, "Dude!" Generally a man will realize their error and move down one,
obeying the law of the urinal "buffer zone."

* One final restroom man-law is that being chatty in the bathroom is
inappropriate, a simple head-nod is all the conversation that is needed.

* Man-law states crying is okay when your team has just won the big game or
a heroic dog dies saving his master from death.

* There is NO reason for a man to EVER watch ice skating or men's
gymnastics. Man-law!

* Man-law states that while walking with a group to the car, a soon-to-be
occupant may reserve the front passenger seat by calling out "Shotgun." All
passengers must honor and respect the calling of shotgun. On those occasions
where there is a tie while calling shotgun, a race to the car decides who
gets the front.

* Men can comment on how much they enjoy manly smells of things like a
baseball glove, a new set of tires, the smell of gunpowder, campfire,
sawdust and bar-b-que grills.

* Man-law clearly states that no man shall ever watch a soap opera ever!
Period!

* A man is allowed to scream ONLY when he is caught off guard and bitten by
a large deadly snake.

* The man-law official start date of the male shopping season is December
23rd, as compared to the female season, which opens on the day following
Thanksgiving.

* And under NO circumstances shall a man EVER defer control of the
television remote to a female.

As much as I love man-laws, I must never forget that "God-laws" always
trump all "man-laws." And men who follow God-laws, such as the following,
are ALWAYS the most manly-men of all .

* A real man loves his wife and is faithful to her sexually, emotionally and
mentally.

* A real man prays with his wife.

* A real man is involved in his children's lives.

* A real man puts his family before his job, hobbies and buddies.

* A real man is the spiritual leader in his home.

* A real man isn't ashamed of his faith and puts God first in his life.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and
gave Himself for her." (Ephesians 5:25).

Alan Smith