What are men like?

Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show
looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator.

Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service
until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn't running
very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm
looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I
used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start."

Because I'm a guy, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I
do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a guy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk, or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
like "Cumin" or "Tofu." For all I know these are the same thing.

Because I'm a guy, when one of our appliances stops working I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.

Because I'm a guy, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't
think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete
stranger -- how in the world could HE know where we're going?

Because I'm a guy, whatever you got your mother for Mother's Day is ok,
I don't need to see it. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom,
too?

Because I'm a guy, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a guy, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a guy and this is, after all, the 21st century, I will
share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

It does seem that a lot of behavior on the part of men can be explained
with the simple phrase "it's because I'm a guy -- that says it all".

Likewise, a lot of the behavior we as Christians exhibit in the
workplace, at home, or at school, should be explainable by the phrase, "it's
because I'm a child of God". That says it all -- that's why I do what I do
and say what I say.

"But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation,
His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called
you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but
are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained
mercy." (1 Peter 2:9-10)

When people wonder about our actions, they should be able to look at
our lives and say, "Oh yes, he acts that way because he's a Christian."
Whether they appreciate it or not, may they see that Christ truly does make
a difference in the way we live.

Alan Smith