Conflict

 

 

 

FIXING THE PROBLEM means that I will apologize readily for my contribution and that I will focus on solutions, not mistakes...

 

The "ventilation" fad that encouraged people to focus on their feelings and vent their anger led to short-term relief and long-term regret.  As Carol Travis notes in a careful study of anger, "People, who are most prone to give vent to their rage get angrier, not less angry."

 

Keep it private, not public.  There is a legitimate place for seeking wise, spiritual counsel.  That is very different than enlisting allies among family and friends, a process that distorts friendships and betrays marital loyalty.  When we draw others into the problem, the tendency is for a win-loss mind-set to develop, as others are encouraged to choose up sides.  Gary Inrig  

 

"Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.  If he hears you, you have gained your brother.  But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more, that by the outh of two or three witnesses every word may be established.'  And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church.  But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector."  Matthew 18:15-17

 

--Mike Benson